Eccentrics Boutique is honored to announce we will be partnering with GraceHaven, a pregnancy resource center in Mt. Vernon. The ministry offers pregnancy testing and ultrasounds, as well as mentoring and resources for expectant parents.
GraceHaven has an onsite boutique designed to support and encourage soon-to-be moms and dads. Parents earn points for going to doctor’s appointments, taking parenting classes, and other activities. These points then allow them to shop at the baby boutique.
This October, for pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, Eccentrics will be donating care packages to GraceHaven for women who have suffered a miscarriage. Stop by Eccentrics to make a donation, or fill out a card to send your support to grieving mothers in our community.
We connected with Sarah Usery at GraceHaven. She offered us wisdom on how to care for yourself, or a friend when grieving the loss of a child.
Sarah is the Director of Operations for Baptist Children's Home & Family Services. She has over 20 years of experience in social service/ministry. Her passion for showing God's love and grace to those who are hurting is a blessing to our community. She lives in Mt. Vernon with her husband of 20 years and her (almost) 13 year old daughter.
In the United States, up to 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage.
How to Support a Friend
Let her grieve. The miscarriage is a loss. Anger, sadness and depression are common feelings after a miscarriage. She may also experience confusion, jealousy of other pregnant women, guilt, feelings of failure, or questioning God. All of these feelings are normal.
Allow her to cry and express the above-mentioned feelings. When the grief is fresh and raw, it may not be the right time to say truth to her. She may just need you to sit with her and let her know you are here for her.
Tell her it is not her fault. It is normal for women to wonder if the miscarriage is a result of something they did or did not do.
Help her honor the child when she is ready. Encourage her to think of a way she can honor this child. Writing the child a letter, plant a tree in honor of the child, paint a picture are all examples of ways to do this.
You may offer to help her with some daily household chores or keep other children for a few hours to give her some time alone.
Pray with and for her.
How to care for yourself
Give yourself permission to grieve. Find someone you can talk through your grief with whether that is your spouse or significant other, a family member, friend, pastor or counselor. Know that your spouse/significant other may grieve differently than you do. Keeping communication open is key to working through your grief. Not doing this may leave you "stuck", which can leave you dealing with depression and repressed emotions. If you feel like you might be stuck or do not have someone you trust to talk to, do not hesitate to reach out for professional help from a licensed therapist.
Ask for and receive help. Take time for yourself. Spend time in prayer.
Know that there is hope for healing your broken heart. God will meet you in your brokenness.